I feel so low the next day two days, I can barely get out of bed. In just a week after graduation, I feel like I have sunk into a depression and the craziest thing is, I brought this on myself. Everything. My fight with Judy and my problems with Michael. I am a complete basket case.
Judy is still giving me the cold shoulder. I try to make eye contact with her Saturday morning and maybe talk things over, but her eyes tell me all. She is not ready to speak to me, not even close, and somehow I could tell that there was a lot more she had wanted to say to me that night, but had held back.
At some point, I decide to text Abby, but I receive no answer. Her fashion program must have already started.
I then check with Janice, who is still totally pumped about me coming to visit. So much so, that I decide not to tell her about what is going on. She is so excited that I don’t want to down her with my problems. So to cope, I dive into my continuous story editing, using some of the final critique group edits. It’s proving to be more and more difficult with my phone buzzing every few hours to remind me of my unanswered text messages and calls.
Michael has been texting me for the whole day, and it is all I can do not to look. With the way I acted Friday night after his specially prepared dinner and my rejection of his marriage proposal, I can’t bear to see what he has written. I’m sure he is still confused as to why I had reacted that way as well. I still don’t completely know myself.
Then again, maybe I do, and it has to do with a situation close to home. Whatever the case, I feel like I need an escape. A place to go to get away from driving myself crazy with my thoughts, and soon.
Sunday morning, I make my way down to the kitchen to get some leftover waffles I had made the day before. My face looks like a total wreck from last night. I had checked my e-mail once again before going to bed, and I had received another rejection from one of my chosen grad-schools. Now while Riverview U, was not my first choice, it was still a school I was highly considering for my masters. I don’t know why, but getting that rejection, really got me emotional. I spent the rest of the night feeling worthless and the feelings have continued into the next morning to breakfast.
I’m surprised when I hear the study door open and my dad enters the dining room. I have not seen much of him the past day and a half, so he must have busied himself with work.’
“Nice to see you up,” he says, taking a seat beside me.
“Mmhm.” I lift up a forkful of waffle bits into my mouth.
“I haven’t seen or heard much of you since Friday night,” my dad continues. “Not to mention you don’t look too well. What’s going on?”
I shake my head. “There’s nothing going on. I guess I’m just tired.”
“That’s interesting. Because I got a call a little while ago from Michael.”
That makes me look up. “What? Why?”
“He seemed very worried about you. He said you left in quite a hurry and that he hasn’t been able to reach you since Friday. He wanted to make sure you were okay.”
That’s just like Michael. I immediately feel even worse about everything.
“Well, I’m fine,” I say glancing down at my plate. I ate that waffle a little faster than I was intending to.
“I don’t think you are,” my dad says, shaking his head. “Oh, this is my fault.”
I frown. “How is it your fault?”
“I should have never told you about your mother and me. I know that it’s what’s gotten you down. You’ve been acting so different since we talked. You barely say much at dinner and I have never seen you and Judy so distant.”
When he says this it causes my eyes to water.
“Judy and I have nothing to do with you and mom. She’s mad at me for not being there for her this year, and she’s right. I haven’t really been a good sister to her at all.”
“Why don’t you just talk to her?”
“I’ve tried! She’s basically giving me the silent treatment, and I can’t blame her. I think she just needs some space from me, and me being constantly around, isn’t helping.”
“It means, I need to leave. At least for a while.”
My dad sighs. “Lizzie, don’t be ridiculous. You don’t need to leave because you and your sister are having a fight.”
“It’s not just that. It’s all of it.” I feel tears coming to my eyes. “Dad, with everything going on with you and mom, and Judy and then with my book and grad schools and Mi-” I drift off, not wanting to mention my situation with Michael to him. My dad would be worried and want to know more and I am just not in the mood to discuss it with him.
Instead, I just let out a long sigh. “I just feel like I need some space. I just need to escape everything for a while.”
My dad is quiet for a few seconds and then sighs as well. “But where will you go?” he asks.
I smile. “I don’t know, but don’t worry, I’ll figure it out.”
With that, I slip off my chair and then head out of the dining room, leaving my father sitting in silence.
When I get to my room, I brainstorm for a few minutes trying to figure out what to do, before coming up with a solution. I then pick up my phone and dial the airport landline.
“Hi, my name is Elizabeth Drake,” I say, when a woman answers the phone. “I would like to cancel my plane ticket.”
A day later, I wake up early in the morning and quietly get dressed. I then drag the suitcases I had packed the night before down to the front door, and then head back up to my room to touch up the make up on my face. The last thing I want is too look like a basket case when I arrive at my destination.
After doing so I am about to go back down, when a sudden impulse strikes me. I then walk down the hallway to Judy’s room and slowly creep inside.
Judy is asleep in her bed, seemingly in deep slumber. She looks so peaceful and I take joy in that fact, even though it is while she is unconscious.
“Sleep well, sis,” I then whisper. “I love you.”
I then exit her room, closing the door behind me.
I am a bit startled when I reach the foot of the stairs and my dad is standing there.
“Dad,” I say with a little frown, “I didn’t realize you were up. You went to bed pretty late last night.”
My dad nods. “I know, but I wanted to see you off.”
We then stand staring at each other for almost a minute, before he leans over and pulls me into his arms.
“I am so sorry about all of this, Lizzie,” he says, squeezing me tightly. “This is not how things were supposed to go.”
I hold him tighter as well. “I know,” I say softly, “But I think this is the best for right now. Besides, it’s just for a little while.”
My dad nods. “You have a safe flight.”
“Thank you, dad. I love you.”
“I love you too, Elizabeth.”
I then let him go and make my way out the front door and over to the sidewalk, where an airport shuttle is waiting. After sliding into the back seat, the driver starts his engine and then we take off.
When I arrive at the Aberdale Airport, I feel my depressive mood beginning to fade ever so slightly. Even more so when I hand my plane ticket to the air hostess and follow the walk way to the correct waiting aircraft.
As much as I am still drowning over the past weekly events, I find myself relieved that I am finally on my way to a destination that I have been waiting to go to for months. I only hope the friendly company along with the sun and sandy beaches, will help me relax and figure out what to do about my life.
(Thank you for reading! Sorry about the delay in posting today. I am trying to figure out what the best day for me to post is. So far, I think Friday/Saturdays are the best, but I am trying to figure out another day so I can continue posting two posts a week. Also, I have made it a point to go back and start reading through my old chapters and editing them. So if you happen to go back to read and notice some differences in the “Lizzie & Abby: The College Years: Years 1-2 chapters, just know that I have been doing that. Otherwise, please like, share and comment if you like the story! Thank you again! 🙂 )