After Lizzie leaves the table, Janice gets a call from Greg asking to meet her at the theater. She then jets off out the door.
I go upstairs and change into my p.js and then search through the fridge for something to eat. I haven’t really been hungry lately with everything going on. Trying to bring my grades up in all my classes is no joke. The thing with Charls is also weighing me down quite a bit.
Deciding on a carton of Rocky Road ice cream, I walk into the dining room and seat myself at one of the tables.
The room is practically empty, so it gives me time to think. I start reflecting on everything; me starting college, meeting Clare and the Tri-Fruhms (biggest mistake), ditching Lizzie to hang with them, meeting Brad, pranking Lizzie to become a Tri-Fruhm, losing my virginity to Brad (even bigger mistake), getting caught cheating on my exam, finding out Brad cheated on me with Clare, and finally, having a one night stand with Charls, who was supposed to be just my friend. I was a train wreck.
It’s amazing how I started off just trying to meet new people and socialize, but now I had no one. And right now, I really needed someone. I needed Lizzie. She was always the one who listened and helped me figure things out, and now she was gone.
“Or maybe not,” I think, as I enter into the kitchen and then toss the empty ice cream carton in the garbage. I had been spending more time with Lizzie and Janice this week, because of all the studying. Even when we were talking at the table this evening, it felt more like we were all friends than just acquaintances. Maybe things were starting to go back to normal. There was only one way to find out.
After leaving the kitchen, I hurry up the stairs to the second floor. My heart is caught in my chest and I can feel my palms sweating. I had no idea what to expect when I reached her door.
Reaching Lizzie and Janice’s room door, I rap upon it gently. Hopefully Lizzie wouldn’t kill me for waking her up.
“Who is it?” I hear Lizzie call.
“It’s Abby. I was just wondering if we could talk.”
There is a bit of a pause and for a second I think she is going to turn me away. But then I hear her say, “Sure,” and I push the door open and enter inside.
It has been a while since I have been in Lizzie’s room, so it feels unnatural to me at first; like I had just entered foreign land.
“Can we sit?” I ask, and Lizzie nods.
I lie upon the floor of her room and she sits next to me. For a few minutes, we just sit in the stillness of the room, neither of us saying a word to each other. It’s as if our minds are so far away. I feel nervous trying to figure out how to word what I want to say. I then get distracted by the look on Lizzie’s face. She has the same expression she had when we were all sitting at the table in the dining room. She seems so lost and confused that I forget what I even came in to talk to her about.
“Lizzie, are you okay?” I ask.
Lizzie, who was staring out the window, blinks and then turns her attention to me.
I smile. She is a terrible liar. It is clear to me that something is going on.
“I can tell that something is wrong Lizzie. We’ve been friends since preschool. You can’t hide anything from me.” I half expect Lizzie to interrupt, stating that we weren’t friends anymore, but she doesn’t. Instead, she just sighs deeply.
“That’s true,” she says and smiles. “I guess I’ve just had a lot on my mind.”
“It’s not you and Kendal is it?” I had heard from Janice that they had broken up last year, but then gotten back together recently, yet I hadn’t really heard Lizzie talk about him. It could be because of how distant we are, but still.
“No it’s not Kendal,” Lizzie says quickly and then sighs again. “Well, maybe a little. We haven’t really been spending time together lately because of his Chem. classes and this internship he’s applying for.”
“I’m sorry. But I’m sure that will all change when classes end in the next few weeks. Meanwhile, you got Janice. Oh and Michael.”
Lizzie flinches when I say his name. “Y-yah. You’re right.”
Hmm. That’s interesting. Why did she suddenly look so nervous?
“So I ran into Michael earlier this week,” I say watching Lizzie’s expression. She straightens up her back slightly.
“Oh?” She says.
“Yah. He was coming out of the arcade downtown as I was going in. We talked for a bit and he was going to show me around, but then he spotted you and took off. He’s pretty cute.”
Lizzie’s face had become a little tense. “Y-you think so?”
“Yes! Don’t you? I gave him my phone number before I left, and he texted me back later and asked me out. Do you think I should go for it?”
“What?” Lizzie looks at me startled. “He asked you out? I can’t believe him! After all that stuff he said and after he ki-” Lizzie breaks off and starts blushing furiously.
My jaw drops. Now I was starting to get the picture. I did think it was strange that Michael had taken off after her like that. Then again, I still remember the way that he had looked at Lizzie all those months ago at my party. He was definitely into her and from the looks of it, she was into him too.
“Michael kissed you?” I say with a smile. “Wow.”
Lizzie scoffs. “I can’t believe he would play me like that.”
I laugh. “He didn’t Liz. Michael didn’t ask me out. In fact, I haven’t heard from him at all. Now I know why.”
Lizzie’s face becomes redder. She opens her mouth and then closes it again. “You tricked me,” She says finally.
I shrug. “I had to. You wouldn’t have said anything if I didn’t.”
Lizzie exhales deeply. “Fine, yes. We did kiss.”
I squeal slightly. “Tell me everything.”
Lizzie arches her eyebrow at me and then rolls her eyes. “Well, when I saw the two of you together I thought you were on a date, so when he asked me what I was doing there, that’s what I told him. He of course said no, but then started asking why I would care if he was going out with you. Which honestly, was the same question I was asking myself at the time.” Lizzie runs a hand through her hair. “Anyways, I tried to dismiss the idea, but Michael wouldn’t let it go. He told me that the reason why it bothered me was because I had feelings for him and when I tried to tell him otherwise, he kissed me.”
I raise an eyebrow. “And?”
“And…I totally loved it. It was like this out of body experience and I couldn’t stop! I completely lost control of myself, Abby! I don’t know what came over me.”
I squeal again, and this time I see a smile at the corner of Lizzie’s mouth. “You have it bad for him don’t you?”
Lizzie sighs. “I don’t know, Abby, I am with Kendal and I love him…”
“But Michael also said that he loved me.”
My eyes widen. “What?! That’s crazy!” I then cock my head to the side. “Do you love him too?”
“I don’t know…Maybe.” She shakes her head. “I just feel horrible. Kendal doesn’t deserve this. He really is a great guy. I know we had some problems last year, but I forgave him and things have been going really well. I just don’t know what to do.”
“Well, I think you need to figure out who you really want. I know you love Kendal, but maybe there is a reason you are drawn to Michael. I don’t know.”
Lizzie nods. “I guess. I just feel so guilty.” She then glances down at me. “You know, when you came in here, I sensed that you wanted to talk to me about something. What was it?”
“Oh that,” I stretch and then pull myself to my feet. “Yah, well you probably don’t want to hear about it.”
“Is it about Brad? I know you’ve been going through a lot with the whole thing with him and Clare. I really wanted to come and talk to you about it.”
I frown. “Why didn’t you?”
“I guess, I just didn’t know how. With everything going on between us…”
I nod. “Understood. That whole thing was a mess. I actually didn’t know about the video until later. I found out about them when Clare announced it in front of Brad and I at the club one night. They had apparently snuck into the bathrooms for a quickie.” I roll my eyes. “I still can’t believe how stupid I was. I can’t count how many times they were probably together right under my nose and I didn’t even realize it.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Abby. You wanted to see the best in him and that’s okay.”
“Not if you make yourself look like an idiot.” I shake my head. “I completely had a mental breakdown Liz. The things I did…”
I pause, trying to figure out a way to spin the conversation around, but Lizzie has already gotten to her feet.
“Why? What happened?”
I bite my lip hard. Lizzie was going to think I was such a freak. “I had a one night stand.”
Lizzie’s eyes open. “Oh my gosh!” she says, “How did that happen?”
“Well, it all started when Charls invited me to a party at the Alpha Annyas. He is Brad’s best friend. He felt bad about all the stuff that happened with Brad and I and I guess he missed hanging out with me, so he thought I might like to come.”
“Was Brad there?” Lizzie asks.
“No, thank God! Besides, Charls wouldn’t have invited me if he was. Anyways, everything was fine until people started passing that stupid video of Brad and Clare around. It just made me so mad. I started drinking and then when I couldn’t take it anymore, I just decided to hide out in Charls room.” I sigh. “After that, I don’t know. We got into a fight about him knowing what Brad did and not telling me and I accused him of not caring about me.”
I look away from Abby. “But then he said that he did care and more than I ever knew. After that, he kissed me and then one thing led to another…”
Lizzie looks stunned. “Wow.”
“I know!” I look at her miserably. “I don’t know how it happened! He just started kissing me and I couldn’t stop him.” I sigh heavily. “Then the next day, I made him promise that he wouldn’t say anything. I haven’t heard from him since and it’s actually bothering me. I don’t know why.”
“Well, could it be that you actually have feelings for him?”
I step back. “What?”
“Well, you didn’t exactly sleep with a total stranger. You and Charls are pretty good friends right?”
“Well, maybe just like Michael and I, there is something between the two of you.”
I open my mouth then close it. Lizzie did have a point. Ever since the night that Charls and I slept together, I had been thinking about it non-stop and dreaming about it. Maybe there was something there.
“Well even if I do have feelings for him, it doesn’t matter now. I haven’t heard from in quite a while so he probably doesn’t even care anymore. He’s an Alpha Annya, anyways. He can probably get any girl he wants.”
“But he wanted you Abby. I’ll bet the reason why you haven’t heard from him is because he thinks you don’t want him. So if you do, you should go talk to him.”
Lizzie was right. I wouldn’t really know what was going on with Charls and me unless I actually talked to him. I only hoped that I wasn’t too late.
I smile. “Gosh it’s so nice to talk to you again. I’ve really missed you Lizzie.”
Lizzie smiles back. “I’ve missed you too Abby.”
We both stare at each other in silence for a minute.
I then clear my throat. “Lizzie, I hope you know how sorry I am about everything that has happened between us. I know I made a lot of mistakes, and I want you to know that I am going to do everything I can to fix it. I miss having you as my best friend.”
After saying this, I brace myself for the worse. Lizzie is probably going to yell at me and tell me that we wouldn’t be like this if I hadn’t tried to change so much in the first place.
But Lizzie surprises me. Instead of yelling or lecturing me, she smiles and pulls me in for a hug.
“I’ve missed having you as my best friend too Abby. It’s going to take some time, but I know that things are going to be okay for both of us.”
I am so happy that I can feel tears in my eyes. “I think so too Liz,” I say, and I give her a squeeze. And for the first time, in quite awhile, I actually believe it.